People face this moral dilemma each and every day with the many interactions we all have with other people in our lives. This article more or less continues the argument I made in the last article about networking. We live in a market-driven and democratic society where each and every person has the ability to be as successful as they want to be. We can chart our own courses, make free and independent decisions and say whatever we feel like saying using whatever media available and deemed most effective. Of course there are many more things people in the Western world can do, but my point is that our society and how it works creates a significant moral dilemma between being selfless and selfish.
Take note that this article may or may not present a clear argument or point……. frankly, I didn’t write to make a specific argument or point, but rather a “ramble of thoughts” that I think is worth sharing and thinking about.
For those that know me, I would say that I am selfless before I am selfish. Is this a good thing? Well….. yes and no.
Being selfless is absolutely required today because people typically have long-lasting memories when someone does something positive or negative for them. Whether they reciprocate equally is another story and another article!! People, I think, tend to gravitate towards others that are selfless. I take business development very seriously, and the key strategy that I use in my own business development is networking. Networking truly works when a reciprocal relationship exists —- a.k.a. equal level of give and take. But, in order to start this relationship I feel that I need to be selfless first so that I demonstrate the value that I can bring to the networking relationship. Great…… but what if I am constantly being selfless and a given networking relationship does not develop into a truly reciprocal one? Or, what if my selflessness does not adequately look out for my own best interests, and actually starts to be a detriment to my own interests? Not a good thing….
On the flip side, being selfish is also required in business today. A purely selfish person only considers their own interests while excluding and not considering others. This description doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to associate with….. or does it? Maybe I’m being biased here but in my experience meeting new people, networking with people and working with people, I would argue that people tend to think of their own interests before the interests of others. Without doing any formal research, perhaps I could argue that this “me first perspective” is a natural form of human behaviour and who people are!! Could I also argue that people who are more selfish than selfless are more successful? I’m not sure that argument would fly in many circles of thought but it is worth considering.
I’m sure many of you are thinking to yourself, “Jeff, what’s the fricking point”?? Maybe there is no point…… maybe this article is just meant to provoke some thought on something that I think about often. It’s a moral dilemma that I face each day as I develop my own approaches to people in specific situations. In conclusion, through my own experiences and everything that I have said so far in this article, I would argue that the most optimal approach is one that balances the interests of both yourself and others equally, and that satisfies both short and long term objectives. A shortsighted perspective does nothing to develop a relationship and optimally reap the benefits that could be realized by thinking holistically (i.e. your own and others interests). A purely long-term perspective does not provide instant gratification and benefits that people today are so used to, and crave.
This moral dilemma links directly to human behaviour, and how people act in certain situations. I think a win-win all around is to balance selflessness and selfishness in a way that provides equal benefit to both you and another person in both the short and long term.